expectations

I expect so much from this church camp. I really need to discipline my mind and I just need God to change my life.

I want answers/healing/acceptance for my ankle, IP, friends and so much more. I need closure for this whirlwind year.


Being in IP has been enriching yes, but there were so many sacrifices made. I expected. And my expectations weren't met. Why can't someone study just because of the interest? Now it's just mugger mode, just like any other secondary schools. And there are so many facades out there, flimsy relationships and fragile words. Too many labels, sometimes I feel suffocated like I can't be myself. I hate this phrase " I see where you're coming from." and " I'll look into this." I'm not asking for the IP curriculum to be humanities based. I'm saying that IP should cater to those humanities as well. And you can practically see all those science ppl squirming in their seats because obviously, it will affect their marks which is what ultimately matters, right? To them, that is. I don't understand how 1 humanities per semester is gonna help us. I have nothing against 5 periods for each science a week. I just think you should add more stuff to those who want to do humanities. Like give them more options. For example double humanities in IP1 already and give more options for humanities in RM and IMAG. I'm not saying place emphasis on humanities even equal emphasis is ridiculous, I understand to the school, becasue VJ is so science, but I'm saying to NOT neglect the humanities people. Like make it possible for people who are good at humanities and not so good at science to be able to excel. Because 100% of IH which isn't integrated at all btw, versus 400% of Math and Science, who in the end is gonna benefit? In the end IP is just sciensy so that the IP people will benefit in JC and top the level or what to produce excellent results. All-rounded? I think not. In the end its just a straight route again. No alternative but with the facade of frills. Everybody complains about the education system but in the end, they are the ones participating in it and keeping it going the way it is. Even sometimes I feel myself giving into the pressure and being kiasu.


For my ankle, I don't know when I'm going back to ballet/floorball. I'm sick of upper body workouts in gym. I'm so inflexible. And syllabus work is like a long gone dream. I wished someone was there to tell me how stupid I was to continue such stuff in the beginning of the year so that my ankle wouldn't end up like that. Now, when I advice others who are injured, they just wanna rush back to training, and I feel so helpless yet I really wanna tell them to not be so stupid. Think Long Term. TLT.


Friends. I don't know what to talk about anymore to cedar friends. Things in common are so fragile now.


I still have homework to be done, blehx, and some ppl have already started mugging which is a scary thought.

Next year is gonna be crazy, maybe that's a blessing in disguise and before I know it 2010 has arrived and maybe, perhaps, things will change.