And once again, I walk away from dance

but this time it is different.
I walk away not because I am forced to, but because I made a choice, a choice not to screw my ankle.

and because the support is different.
Mel: "I would say you would want to give yourself the best chance at success of the operation." Great advice. I mean many people can say "Don't screw your ankle" in so many different ways but it takes a true sportsman to repeat the words her coach used to encourage her friend. Indebted to Mel for the past 2 days.
Dance ministry: People who prayed and will be praying for me. Special mention to Eastina who despite choreographing the placement of people, understood fully and earnestly asked about my circumstance instead of concerning herself with the dance.

So very different from the pressure that I felt having to be there for my partner for ballet exam, and for the line for floorball. Maybe it was self-imposed illusion but there was undoubtedly that element of expectation since competition/grades was involved. Note: not blaming anyone here, don't misinterpret!

It's been two years, what have changed? Much, I am assured.

Brostrom gould ankle surgery, may you fulfill your purpose and do the Brostrom guy justice! (:
Behind the humour, there is this urgent desire for this to be it.
No more cringes, no more choking back tears, no more laying supine, tears running perpendicular to the spongy green yoga mat. Can I imagine running freely? It is now within reach. I can touch it, it ain't so far back that I cannot recall it.
Please Lord, do what it takes. I will do everything in my earthly ability to not loosen the ligament, do everything else in the supernatural realm.
I've been risking permanent injury for quite awhile, I am told. Your cartilage can't grow back once it is ruined. Have not gone back to the doctor because I lost hope for the past 7 months. When you get busy and the ankle situation fades into the back of your mind, nothing more than a nagging thought, you assume that everything is fine and dandy. But when something ignites that flame, to jump, run, dance- you realize that everything was so superficially dealt with.

Was thinking about this the other day: We say that we have faith in medical science. Why don't we say that we have knowledge in the outcome of medical science, always? We treat medical science as a certainty, yet faith implies a certain leap between action-outcome.

Now, all I need to do is to book an appointment and arrange for when the surgery will be- the month that is most convenient for me to go around in crutches.

HOPE.