ballet

I love ballet..until now.
it's not so much about ballet as a passion anymore. It's now like ballet is a exam, a grade, which I detest.

And because of the ankle, ballet is under compromise and now ballet is just like an added pressure.
It's so frustrating to have a lousy ankle. And now my calve muscles are affected too. That day after floorball, my legs just gave away in the middle of the route towards the bus stop. It just buckled and gave way. Sigh. And now my turnout is so lousy coz when I want to push myself to the maximum, my ankle hurts and prevents me from doing so.

Ballet exam is on 28 march, thats in 3 wks time. I'm so worried. Before I know it, it will come. I don't want my ankles to die halfway in the exam. I think I should stop floorball and ballet until my ankle is completely healed. That's the only rational thing to do.There's no point going to ballet and feeling the stress, doing the same lousy thing over and over again. 3 wks of lousy practice= 1 wk of productivity. I rather rest for 2 wks and gently practice at home then go for ballet exam and go all out when my ankle has healed.

A good idea? yea, SELFISHLY? yea.

I feel so darn bad towards charisse, neo yun and diana. I don't want them to suffer because of me. ESPECIALLY charisse who is practically the nicest partner you can ask for and even she is getting worried and I'm compromising her marks. Charisse without a partner will cause others to dance two more times, just to fill up my place.

And floorball. I keep asking people to come and stop ponning yet now I'm putting ballet as priority and it seems like I'm being hypocritical tho for a good reason. Competition is in april and I'm not contirbuting to the team. I feel so bad.

But I'm going to stick to my decision and not dance nor play floorball until my ankle is better. I was stupid I shouldnt have danced when my ankle was lousy at first. Now it got worse. I'm gonna be rational and bear the consequences of my stupid actions now. Sorry everybody.