--

Apparently, F1 is being screened live, and I don't give a hoot. I just don't see the point of guys sitting in cars whilst polluting the earth for the amusement of the "ignorant masses" (Karl Marx!). The tickets are expensive for watching something whizz past you 100km/h. $90 Million. Imagine if all the $$$ for F1 races are chanelled to alleviating poverty, what a nice place this world would be now. But still, that is just wistful thinking.

Pretty bored at home now. Really need a goal in mind.

I found an earthly heaven, People's Park Complex! The sewing materials there are all so cheap. YAY! Byebye Spotlight.

This week was well, different for a change but still there's something missing in my life and I don't know what it is. The old feeling came back and it is an uneasy one. I feel unsettled.

Both my physiotherapists are so exotic. First it was a hongkonger, now it's korean. Cool man. I tried running on the treadmill at a steady pace for 5 minutes and already it hurt. So now I can only do PT and run for 10 mins max.

Inv!gorate is definitely out of the question and some people just don't understand that it's not that I don't WANT to play but rather I CAN'T play. For the benefits in the long run. Haven't I sacrificed enough? What do I have to prove?

I wonder if going back to ballet is some distant dream. Ankles don't go back to their original states. There's no guarantee, no assurance. Unsettling.

Leadership. I knew where I went wrong. I was too strict. Leadership is not about short skirts, low socks and ipods. Not about judging. And I realise that we really do have to accept that we cannot be appreciated always (the puppet show last year), and sometimes the effort and time doesn't seem to be worth it. And our reason for leading is challenged as it was last yr for me. One questions.

I need time to reflect, to be quiet and not be seen as "emo", to just get away from all of this.

There's no kick.