:(

I've been a grouchypuss for the past few days. I apologize.
Between banner painting and thinking, I realize I have lost my meaning in life. I haven't even reached adulthood to actually have a mid life crisis. Okay, not a crisis like the America stock market, but still.

Murakami is not my type of author.

I keep reminding myself, you are a dancer yes you are! And you will always be but still the negative thoughts keep coming back. The state I'm in is like continous state of motion according to Newton's 1st Law and a constant state of fragile ankles. I'm even lazy to do physio everyday despite the consequences. There's nothing to jerk me back, no non-zero net force to jerk me back to actually be ALIVE. I can't find my stupid terra band which leads me to think of the dumb book by Cecelia Ahern- A Place Called Here.

And the problem is I don't feel pain at not dancing at much as I did. Time heals but I need that constant ache and pain to feel alive. Crazy i know. It's almost like indifference and that is so unfeeling and emotionless.
What is opposite of Love is not Hate but indifference.

the atmosphere at home is suffocating.