Career's Week got me thinking and such thoughts about the future are rather exasperating. Turning 16 was more bitter than it was sweet. The ageing part not the day itself which was spent wonderfully with wonderful people and Mr Wonderful Chinese Paper (lao shi said I improved yippee :)
I do not want to entertain such thoughts. They just bring me round in circles and distract me. So all I wanna do now is play my role as a typical Singaporean student, but to do so would be to be a headless chicken. I do not have any direction.
I really don't know what I really like to do, and what I'm good at. When I sit down and think about it, the more I feel like what I want to do and what I think I'm good at isn't what I really want to do. What I enjoy doing may not be what I want to do as work. Others' strengths seem so obviously glaring in my absence of abilities. It seems like I have been meddling with so many activities in my life, I have not narrowed onto the specifics while others have already spent years cultivating the love/hobby/passion of theirs.
I think I'm generally heading in the Arts direction. I'm not gonna be a doctor ( I hate needles and I dislike dentists) nor an engineer (because my parents are), so sci fac out of the pic right? Maybe. I enjoy Arts but is Arts apt for me? Sometimes I feel that I'm just doing this for the sake of breaking family conventions and to prove people wrong. I don't see why I should take a science subject just to "play safe". I see your line of reasoning but I think arts is so much more geared for the future than science. How many science students actually go into science into uni? Significant number but many of them get their As because science is supposedly easier to score and then they cross over to the Arts side.
off off eely tentacle.
Sometimes in view of my obligations as a debater, a daughter and other expectations and influences, I myself don't even know what I like anymore.
How can you offer your five loaves and two fishes when you don't even know what those gifts are?
Friday, August 7, 2009
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